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Learn to say NO

Eugene Jamandron | Talk with sense

Despite the uncertainties in life, one of the things that had long lingered in my mind was how to accept those abrupt, sudden happenings in our challenging world. I never thought how my actions would drastically change my life. Some implications on how those same actions are being criticized. Amid all these uncertainties,  I realized the value of commitment towards study and work.

Working as a part time reporter in a local newspaper and, at the same time, trying to earn my bachelor’s degree in Silliman in the last five years now is a great challenge.

A seriously difficult job.

Too many times, I would end up slumped into a corner, crying my life away. The demands in school, the pressure in the workplace, the calls from any of my family members throwing in their concerns, listening and comforting my friends after their hearts are broken, and the family conflicts had long taken its toll on me multiple times.

And yet, I continue to fight.

The exhausting journey does not end there, though. Since I am working off campus, I have to travel an hour vice-versa every day to beat my deadlines. As a journalist, it is quite hard but I have to make it happen.

Soon, by the grace of God and through my perseverance, I will be able to capture and brew the best formula on dealing with my journey.

I was actually inspired by  writer Bo Sanchez in his book entitled “How Your Words Can Change Your World.”

He wrote, asking what particular movies are we watching every single day. Not movies at the big screen, though, but the “inner” movies that we are watching at the small screen of our minds. Day-dreams, if you may say so.

He said, first we need to change the bad beliefs that support our bad habits because our inner movies affect our destiny. For a long time, I really believed that I was weak. After all, I am only human. But soon, I started to believe that I am strong enough, and that weakness will only consume us if we allow it. I am not weak at all because I have God’s supernatural strength within me.

That’s why I believe you can change too.

You can change today in order to change the cycle of your thoughts. To surround yourself with people who can lift you up instead of pull you down.

The technique of the two psychologists, Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham who developed the Johari Window has a great impact on me.

The Johari house has four rooms and I substituted it with four adjectives: necessary, but, not important and important, but, not necessary. In using those adjectives, I was able to distinguish how my commitments are being kept and executed accordingly to its time, associated with the importance and value of the commitment no matter how small it is, against not necessary and not important things.

After learning the technique, I finally have the guts to say NO to things that just come surprisingly even though they are important. I do have set aside some reservations for the things that I am committed to. This is quite confusing, because I need to set exemptions for the valid reasons and excuses.

One has to learn independence towards work and study. The principles, ethics, theories and personal life experiences are combined to hone a person who is more rational and strong. A person who is not being surprised anymore by abrupt happenings, rather, respond to it rationally.

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