Sometimes when we are in love, we tend to be blinded. Therefore, we need persons who can give us some advice.
According to a very reliable research from Napoles Surveying Center, Silliaman University students have the highest possibility of falling in love and making wrong decisions along the way. We have invited two Love Gurus to help out some of our fellow students.
Dear Love Guru Andrea,
I have a big dilemma. Last week, my girlfriend sent me this blurry picture of a stick and I started freaking out because it looks like a pregnancy test. We’re nowhere near graduating college and neither of our families can support a baby right now. We’ve been together for two years and I don’t want us to ever break up. Please help me! Thanks!
– Char Quevenco
Your girlfriend is as vague as the picture she sent you. She could have sent you a text message about it, not posted a picture; a picture cannot be explained by a thousand words, you know. Why did she even send that photo, by the way? And why is it blurry? I bet she’s using Cherly Mobile. She’s really rude! Doesn’t she know you’re human, too?! You will marry her anyway; she should know that. Were you absent when your teacher told your class that an egg needs flour to make a cake? If you want to sleep without worries, put in mind that maybe, just maybe, the stick you saw is a thermometer…or a toothpick.
Dear Love Guru Prince,
I have a crush on someone for three months now. Do you think this is already love? She is 6 feet tall with a Victoria’s Secret model body. She is smart and witty. She’s a church person which makes her perfect. She’s from the College of Business Acquisitions. I am just a simple guy. No looks and no money. We constantly text and meet at random coffee shops in the city. Every time I’m with her, I’m always high. It seems that every time we talk, the world moves in slow motion. I think she likes me because I can see it in her eyes. But she is so unreadable, I can’t seem to read her actions or what she thinks about. She doesn’t respond to my damoves. I was about to court her, but she seems happy with me in the friend zone and also, when I opened up to her friends, they disagreed; they were not in favor of me. As they said, we are not “bagay”. I am in deep confusion. Please help bro.
Dude, those are serious problems you got there. You’re always high when you’re with her? Are you kidding? Stop trippin’ dude. Tsk. This is bad. You know bro, in love you always tend to look at the brighter side. This is a sign that you are already blinded. Consult an eye expert. Also, girls who have those specs will NEVER end up with a guy like umm… The thing is, sometimes things turn out bad and when you get your hopes too high. Your heart will get shattered to pieces, and when I say pieces, I’m talking microscopic pieces that are really small and hard to fix. Do you want that to happen? Wake up; she’s not really into you, because if she is, she will respond to your damoves. But because I am your bro, I will help you escape her shackles.
I have my own “moving on formula”. I call it 3D’s:
- DRINK til you drop- The best remedy for a broken heart is water. Call your drinking buddies, now! Order Silliaman Water, the best-tasting liquid next to sweat.
- DONATE your feelings- Share it on fb. Remember, 1 like = 1 peso!
- DENGUE- Dengue causes amnesia, according to Dr. Who.
To Char and Rexdick, NEVER FOLLOW YOUR HEART. Its only function is to pump blood.
Legit Love Gurus
Andrea D. Lim and Prince C. Villa