“How can I tell if I’ve found ‘the one’?”
We, teenagers, always have that question in our minds which we just can’t answer yet given that we are still striving to understand life in our young age. Writing our own stories and finding our very purpose in this world have always been a challenge. Sometimes, we become eager and curious in finding answers how to find ‘the one’, so with a blush on our face, we ask adults.
The same question was raised by the Silliman student body during Ramon Bautista’s mini-seminar about love and relationships during the all-university acquaintance party.
Ramon Bautista, who became famous for his “love advice” and the line, “There’s more to life than love” from the movie “Bakit ‘Di ka Crush ng Crush Mo?”, gave everyone an answer that surely transformed everybody’s thoughts about the word ‘love.’
He said that there is no way of pinpointing who ‘the one’ is, because we cannot find the person we refer to as such. However, “all we can do is to not think selfishly of ourselves and think of the other person and be ‘the one’ to the person we are with, and give them what they deserve…” This very statement harbored many “ahh-s” from the students, especially girls, who seemed to be moved by the answer.
That is the one thing most of us do not think about these days because we tend to be idealistic. We only think of ourselves and forget about what the other person has to say or feel about these things as well. But isn’t that vain? We become so selfish that we demand that people match all our standards according to our own check list perfectly. Then again, this is the real world, not a fairytale story. Girls cannot expect a knight in shining armor, a whole package with his white horse and a sword, knocking on their doors to save them. And men cannot really expect rescue calls from damsels in distress; it just does not work that way. Life is like a big puzzle; we ought to have fun and enjoy it while we’re completing it.
Besides, how can we demand for someone to be ‘the one’ when we ourselves are not? Before we can demand for one, we must look into ourselves first and change things that are unideal and be someone fit to be others’ ideal. In love, there should be a balance in giving and taking for it to become ideal, and it does not take for someone to even find the ideal love we are searching for.
In the world we live in, there’s no such thing as the so-called ideal or perfect one meant for us; we honestly cannot find that here! But we ought to learn from Ramon Bautista’s answer: Stop looking for ‘the one.’ Let’s start right and great by looking at ourselves in front of the mirror and asking: “Am I the one?”
The Girl in Red Shoes
Babe Jocelie Isaga